Listening to another TED Talk yesterday (these are quite addictive) I heard another great one on how to create self-confidence by Dr. Ivan Joseph, a high-level soccer coach and Athletic Director. He had a great many wonderful things to say in his talk, but what stuck with me the most was his take on how he coached his athletes:
“Praise the positive behavior we want to reinforce.”
Having been a coach for over 20 years in various sports (boxing, basketball, cross country) the following question has taken up a considerable amount of space in my head over the years: how do you show your athletes what they can improve on without tearing down their self-confidence? I played sports in a generation where coaches who, although well-meaning, used the approach of ‘tearing down an athlete, and then building them up.’ Using the simple and effective tactic of creating fear or self-doubt, then rewarding with praise when a player did well can make a coach’s job a whole lot easier, and may even get you a winning record. But when the athlete leaves middle school, high school, or even college, they find themselves looking for their self-worth in the external opinions of others. Second guessing themselves for fear of making a mistake.
“Ignore what an athlete does wrong. Point out to others what another athlete is doing well right in front of them.”
How many times have I seen athletes seek my attention on the field, whether it was in a negative fashion or a positive one? When I’ve encouraged or praised an athlete, others on the team are always tuned in, and you can feel their desire to want to improve themselves. Dr. Joseph went on…
“The other way is catch an athlete while they’re doing good. When their action is correct, praise it. Both ways keep the athlete’s confidence intact, while also improving their skill sets.”
This positive feedback leaves an athlete wanting to build their skill sets for themselves. Not just to get your praise as a coach or mentor, but because they want to get better. They want to get better because they can feel their self-confidence grow. When kids are helped to develop this early on in life, it carries forward into adulthood, improving their jobs, relationships, overall self-worth.
I turned off the TED Talk and headed from work to get to practice. We had some celebrating to do! Our girls had won their previous meet, and the boys had podiumed for the first time this year, jumping 4 spots to take second place! There were many runners who gritted it out that day to make this happen, but one of our runners on the boy’s team came up over 35 spots to bridge the gap. I’m not sure that he knew that he was capable of such a feat before this race, but I told him he could do it before the race, and so did his teammates. After the race, we all pointed out his amazing ‘push;’ specifically acknowledging the work ethic and determination he demonstrated. I firmly believe that this new-found confidence will be something that he carries with him in other areas of his life for years to come.
