It’s been a whirlwind ‘eat-athon’ between late November all the way up until January 1st (turkey, pasta, candied yams, candy canes, Christmas cookies…and don’t forget the ‘wheel of fortune’ assortment of pies – alright, no judgment on the Maple Pie, that was just mandatory :). I could feel the emotional roller coaster of the holidays plunging my thoughts and emotions into a nose dive. Self-criticism, low self-esteem, and anxiety about my food choices, training, and my work life for 2018 were weighing heavily on me.
My positive internal coach must have taken his holiday vacation as well (somewhere warm, I bet). Absent was the helpful self-talk that usually allows for me to ‘bring myself to court.’ It was instead replaced with harmful emotional gremlins caroling their holiday harmful self-talk into every crevice of my brain. Doubts rolled through me about the upcoming year whether with my work, training, nutrition, you name it. Nothing is sacred when these emotional energy-suckers jingle their way into my brain.
This isn’t my first “rodeo” with these gremlins. They’ve been there every holiday since I could sing “Ya hoo doray,” always creeping up on me when a holiday comes around that might bring my ‘will’ or self-commitment to my own goals into question. And, although an ‘emotionally bullet proof’ way to discard these critters isn’t possible (all emotions must be felt), I have developed a fairly successful EMT kit (Emotional Mental Toolkit). These are an array of tools to help during the holidays, while also keeping me motivated in my training and work…
“IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS”
Be grateful for your successes as well as your setbacks. Nothing is a greater catalyst than looking back and feeling grateful for the things that you have accomplished in your life. Things that leave you feeling self-confident and capable, especially if you can acknowledge to yourself that you had setbacks along the way to these accomplishments. The greatest teaching moments are usually well disguised within our setbacks.
“I’ve had candy, pie, the occasional pint of Ben and Jerry’s on Thanksgiving, but these are ‘glitches’ (exceptions rather than the norms). The holidays are difficult, and I consistently eat well. I accept that I am human, and will learn from my setbacks as I move through the holidays.”
Focus on your effort, not your outcome. When you are always anxious about what the fruits of your labors will look like when they fully mature, you will spend less time laboring, and end up with sub-par fruit. You cannot control what will transpire in your external environment, but you can influence the way you think, feel and behave.
“I realize that I do not want to be miserable for the holidays so will allow myself some flexibility as to what I eat when at parties or celebrations. I may miss a workout here or there, but it is the exception rather than the rule during the holiday. I can trust setting physical goals in the coming year, because I know that these misses are mere ‘glitches’ and I have the evidence to back it up (and I WILL bring myself to court if need be!).”
Keep your eye on what it is that you want – knowing what it is that you want, visualizing it, with all of its sights, sounds, smells, textures and tastes, is not in direct conflict with allowing your outcomes to be what they will be. If you don’t know where you want to go, you may end up somewhere you don’t want to be. A gentle, but consistent visualization can direct your energy into those smaller wins throughout the day.
“Yes, it’s true, I am not getting as much work done as I would like because of the holidays. But I can visualize what I would like to see happen in all areas of my life whenever I want to, and regular practice will keep my energy and interest high when I get back to my regular schedule in the new year!”
I realize that the tools in my EMT kit are mine, but they started out as suggestions from concerned friends, or ‘information’ that resonated with me from really good books. It was then up to me to turn them into my ‘knowledge’ by trying them out and seeing if they were useful to me (always the most difficult step). If the tools remain ‘information’ (things untested in our own lives) they are left as mere sketch in our minds, inspiring but devoid of being able to actually help us develop the reality we want for ourselves.
What tools have you developed that have helped you stay friends with yourself over the Holidays? I’d love to hear about it, and I’m sure my readers would too (please post your EMT ideas in the comments section)! You never know what tool you may have in your kit that someone may decide to try and make knowledge for themselves. We can all use help now and again to stop the whirlwind of self-criticism, refocus our energy, and expand our own realities.
Happy New Year!
