I can’t sleep. I’m sitting in bed, my belly distended and bloated from eating too many holiday goodies. It’s not even Christmas any more, yet I’m still grabbing for the occasional cookie sitting innocently in their tray on the counter right as you enter or exit the house. To be honest, I’ve been eating all kinds of crappy foods and just lapsing in my discipline since the 50 mile race I ran 4 weeks ago. In spite of this I am very grateful for still feeling healthy enough to be reaching running mileage in the area of 35 to 40 miles-a-week. But I am also VERY aware that my eating habits need to change if my running is to be successful over the great distances I’m asking of myself this year, and so I can get some sleep!
It’s everyone else’s fault of course. Blaming: “I wouldn’t have these things [cookies] around me if my entire family just supported me!” ( The heartless villains!) Or justifying: “Everyone eats this way during the holidays,” (trying to convince myself that it is some kind of unavoidable mass, insulin-induced hysteria to which everyone succumbs). Here’s a good one, righteous indignation: “If I lived alone (on the isle of Atkins?) I would easily be able to keep sugary and harmful foods out of the house and away from my reach!” Of course, every time I get gas, or go to the supermarket and pharmacy, candy is well within my reach…and I find myself bringing it home, so I guess I reached it…
So here\’s the good news and the bad news. Let’s go with the bad news first (I always like to end on a good note):
Your life is your responsibility.
Crazy right? But true. No one can make you think, feel, or behave in any way without your consent. You have to sign off. Your emotions, that ‘energy in motion’ in your body that motivates you to action or inaction, inspires you, gets you to avoid some situations and leap head first into others…they are all created and generated from within you. What does this mean? Things outside of you can hook you, catch you, act as catalysts to get certain emotions moving through your body initially, but the buck stops with you on what you do with it, how you take it in and respond.
Ok, now the good news: Your life is your responsibility.
You get to choose the way you think, feel, and act. I don’t care if you’re the Keebler Elf, there’s no contract rolled up in your little green hat that says you have to eat every cookie you see. Sure it would be a great deal easier if sugary snacks and rich foods weren’t around the house in every direction. But, if I’m honest with myself, my beliefs and feelings about what I want to accomplish from a running perspective have not changed. And, even if I’ve tripped up a few times (ok, more than a few…), that doesn’t mean I need to continue running on mental-emotional “auto pilot” and down as many cookies as I can!
Do I have New Years resolutions? Every year. I remind myself of my goals for the coming year, pay attention to how my eating is impacting my running, my attitude, and my sleep. I can be mindful and not pick up that cookie when I come into the house from my run; not justify the consumption because I just worked out! But truth be told there’s a larger task I’m asking of myself this year: to be brave enough to try and listen to all of what my emotions are telling me every day this year (especially those emotions that I’d rather not feel); to be honest with myself about what it is that I want for myself, how I want to feel, and then be courageous enough to go after it! I choose not to let anything within my control hinder my best effort every day…not even a beautifully decorated Santa cookie. ????????
Hope everyone has a healthy and Happy New Year!
~ Lou
