We’re getting close to the holidays (some might say we’re already in the silly season ?). As I’m taking my long run, I’m thinking of the many Christmases of the past. This has me missing my parents, friends of old who I am not as close with…basically dwelling on the past. At the same time, I’m focusing down hard on my standard “marching orders” that I absolutely need to have a race lined up before January 1. Why? Because of my militant mind being very inflexible with the idea that I could actually train without a race scheduled in the future.
I like things being a certain way if I’m honest. When it comes to my training, my ORCA bag has to be a certain way. What shoes I wear on what terrain. There’s mud season and chain season (chains on my feet that is). There’s training runs for hills. There’s workouts for flat, going slow and easy (I work at it ?). And there’s training runs that leave me aware that recovery‘s gonna take a few days…
I’ve been doing this for a long time. My rituals–they’re comfortable. They work…until they don’t. Out of the Lou Commandments there’s one in particular: “thou shall not change the training”. If it works, don’t mess with it. The question is, what about when it stops working?
As I’m going through this military-esk way of deciding what’s to come for me in the way of a race for next year, I’m listening to my music. All this awesome “pump up, get yourself off your ______ and probably run too hard and regret it later on today” music. Not a good choice, but I’m not feeling particularly motivated, because I don’t have a dang race yet, and I’m also mentally carrying the chains of all the Christmases past.
All of the sudden ‘70’s music blasts through my headphones. How did this get on my playlist?! There’s no ‘go hard or go home’ in this tune. It’s the Rubberband Man. For those of you under 50 who can’t possibly know what that is, it’s a hit song from The Spinners that talks about a guy who is in a band who played incredibly. This guy is singing about how he thought the rubberband man was crap, because his mind was so rigid on what somebody who is good at something should look like. The rubberband man was so flexible in his abilities that he was able to play all this incredible music. But for you to appreciate it, you had to be open to change. You had to let go of the way you thought he should look or be. You basically had to give yourself permission to like something different.
I know it’s pretty crazy to find your inspiration in a 1970’s disco song, but so be it. The rubberband man reminded me that resilience and the availability to succeed and grow actually comes from being flexible. Not necessarily physically flexible, but mentally and emotionally flexible. If I wasn’t mentally and emotionally flexible when I started doing races and challenges, I would never have been able to grow into the different sports and things that I’d like to do today.
When you reach a certain level of accomplishment, you’re likely to hold onto it too tight and that’s going to stop you from growing. The number one thing that causes this: fear. You’ll likely feel scared that somehow, whatever you’ve developed and whatever you’ve got now is better than what’s going to be in a future that you can’t know. Nothing could be further from the truth.
As the famous line goes that’s uttered at every bar in Boston at 2 AM in the morning, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” Basically that “here” is where you are in this moment. If you pay attention, you’ll realize that your body, your mind, and your emotions find ways to tell you it’s time for you to change (“you can’t stay here…”). Maybe it’s with the sport you’re doing, the job you’re in, an old or new relationship that needs tweaking, or maybe even something you’re already successful at that you just need to change the way you do it.
Holiday tool 1 – Think about holidays of the past… The holidays that you had last year, or three years ago, or 10 years ago, or even when you were a kid were completely different than what you have now. I would suggest that each of those were different from each other as well. Even if you stayed in the same home in the same area, the people change, the weather changes, the food changes (hopefully not too much if you really like the food that your Aunt Ritamakes you ?). What’s important is the memories that you have of those times and your ability to find the same feelings in the surroundings that you find yourself in with the people that you love and connect with now.
Holiday tool 2 – Holidays are what you make of them. Now yes, there’s a lot of advertisement and cultural push that can trigger a lot of emotions that maybe you don’t want during this time. But in the bigger picture, it’s you who gets to choose what you celebrate. That’s true whether today is an ‘official’ holiday or not. You get to choose if you want to celebrate, how, with whom… I’m not going to say to make up your own Christmas, but the importance that you give a day is the importance that you give a day. So, be flexible and choose what is right for you right now.
The rest of my run may not be occupied by the rubberband man. But, I like this song, so I give it a few listens since I had a eureka moment. Now I’m off to listen to something different. Instead of forcing myself to listen to a bunch of heavy metal or hard rock that’s going to force my heart rate in a different direction than I want, maybe it’s time to sing a different tune, or at least listen to few. ?
If you would like to learn tools and skills to help you improve your emotional aptitude, reduce your emotional isolation, lessen your avoidance of shame, fear, and anxiety, and enable yourself to reach your goals, break old habits, or create new ones, I can help. I provide emotional resilience coaching, so you can achieve your goals. We can meet either virtually or in person at my office in Waterbury, Vermont. Just click the button or the link below for a free consultation and let’s talk.
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