So, I dropped my son off at school this morning (actually, more like he dropped himself off. I was just along for the ride), and headed to my office in Waterbury. I’m not going to say that I am usually driving the 50 mile-an-hour speed limit, but I’m not always checking the speedometer either. A bit like my mother, who had the nickname “lead foot,” I can ‘occasionally’ find myself going a bit faster than the posted speed limit signs now and again, especially on a long stretch of ‘down’…say, like the one right before the Middle School. As I coasted down that hill I saw a purple ford Taurus spastically flicking his high beams at me, leaving me feeling as if he was warning me that an earthquake had torn the road in half and I should turn back now!
So there’s the shot of ‘anxiety.’
Quickly, a second car gave me the same warning (without the quick ‘life or death’ flicker). I calmed and realized that they were warning me of the ever-so-common speed trap at the bottom of the hill.
‘Gratefulness,’ with a side of ‘relief’ roll in, nudging ‘anxiety’ aside…
I slowed up considerably and headed down the hill (alright…maybe like 8 or 9 miles an hour… I wasn’t ‘Thelma and Louise-ing’ it to begin with). How good of all those people to let me know, I thought. Practically a saintly gesture. As I made the final turn down the hill, I saw two police officers standing off to the side of the road, pointing their speed guns right at me.
‘Anger’ bowls through…
“You believe this! Actually out of the car, pointing a speed gun at me! Like we’re all some sort of criminals… They’ve got nothing better to do, right?! On my way to work and I have to deal with this crap!” (I’m not a “I pay their salary!” kind of guy. I’m not passing sentence on anyone who goes there with their ‘knee jerk’ emotional tirade… It’s just not my thing)
Alright, here comes the ‘judgment\’…
You know they’re loving this! This is why they do what they do! Just look at them! I can begin to make out their faces since now I am the perfect driving role model. There they are, all self-righteous with their —
Finally, what I like to call “The Turn” slowly dawns (others may call it “OR…” But basically, what it boils down to is just another ‘perspective’)
I can see from their faces they are uncomfortable while they talk with each other. One of the cops is sweating, talking with the other about something anxiously, wiping his face with his sleeve. Is it possible that they are just human beings? That they are at work and would rather be doing something else other than standing there? They probably would both rather be home playing with their kids… Oh, that’s right, they could be dads. Maybe the sweaty cop had a fight with his wife? Maybe his sister or mother is sick and my inability to follow the simple posted speed limit signs are really the last thing on either of their minds right now.
The truth of the situation is I don’t know. Yet, sometimes it’s just feels easier (feels being the operative word) to just allow my emotions full reign to weave a ‘story’ even if it doesn’t really add up to the ‘whole truth’ of a situation. While it might feel easier \’in the moment\’ to give over ownership of how I feel to my external environment, I have to consider what that costs me in the long run: snap-judgment, elevated blood pressure, even just extra mental angst! How much less energy could I have expended if I chose to just hold the gratitude I felt for people warning me I ‘might’ be speeding, and slowed down a bit. Because really, whether you are the car coming down the hill or the person holding the gun…nobody likes a speed trap.
